Hey, Aren’t You…

By: Joe Walsh

Mistaken identity is a hallmark of American culture. We genuinely love reaping the benefits of interpersonal confusion, especially when you have the same name as someone else.

Eddie Murphy portrayed a con man with the same name as a deceased senator in The Distinguished Gentleman. Name recognition on the ballot is what got him into Washington with ease.

The Distinguished Gentleman. From crawfordsworld.com.

The Distinguished Gentleman. From crawfordsworld.com.

I have even been on the receiving end of mistaken identity. During my first semester here at Marist College I was placed in College Writing II when I had never taken the test to skip College Writing I. After inquiring at the registrar’s office, I found out that another freshman, named Joe Walsh as well, had taken and passed the aforementioned test.

Due to an error on their part, he was placed in College Writing I, and I was placed in College Writing II. However, since I earned an A in the class, I was not made to take College Writing I at all. Sweet!

Were it not for this wonderful case of mistaken identity, I would have had to take two excruciatingly tedious writing classes that marginally improved my post-high school skills. Instead, I had to just take the one.

Big thanks to the other Joe Walsh. Seriously, thank you.

As pumped as I was over my minor victory, someone has me beat hands down.

Melissa Huckaby, a 28-year-old Sunday school teacher, has been accused of kidnapping, raping and murdering 8-year-old Sandra Cantu; a playmate of her 5-yer-old daughter.

The Accused: Tracy Huckaby. From listown.com.

The Accused: "Tracy" Huckaby. From listown.com.

Lucky for her, there is another Melissa Huckaby who happens to be a 28-year-old Sunday school teacher that lives just 14 miles away in Manteca, California. And get this: she has a 5-year-old daughter too.

Jackpot!

Instead of having to face all the social hostility from her community alone, she has help. Now she can focus more on dealing with the crushing sense of guilt that is no doubt sapping the majority of her mental energy.

The convenience of Manteca Huckaby taking flak for the Tracy, California Huckaby comes at a time of dire need. It is likely too much to deal with both the personal anguish and the social hostility, especially with all her frivolous mandatory court appearances of late.

I’m sure she wishes Manteca Huckaby would help her out there too. Unfortunately, that probably won’t pan out.

The Confused: Manteca Huckaby. From hollywoodcelebgossips.com.

The Confused: "Manteca" Huckaby. From hollywoodcelebgossips.com.

Manteca Huckaby has even been getting grief online. She recently had to take down her MySpace page from the overwhelming amount of threats sent to her. Tracy Huckaby must be tickled pink with the idea that her MySpace page has less hate messages because of it.

Fringe benefits!

It’s classic cases like these that make me love America even more. Instead of doing any real investigation, we Americans just assume what we are easily presented with has to be the truth. After all, the extra investigating is such a waste of time when we could be spending it tweeting or checking our favorite gossip blogs; perezhilton.com for me!

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